"DTC" - Dossier To China. The words themselves bring a big sigh of relief. The paperchase , the homestudy, and Immigration approval are all complete. Everything is signed, notarized, sealed, approved and authenticated and now finally... mailed off to China. Now begins the wait, the part that most couples find the most difficult and frustrating part of the adoption process.

Part of the frustration comes a feeling of no control over the whole process. As middle-class Americans, we are used to making things happen for ourselves. For most of our lives, when we have wanted something all we have had to do is work harder, study longer, or pay more money. Suddenly, those methods don't work. If we are lucky, our referral arrives in 10-12 months as expected. If not, the referral can be delayed for months by earthquakes, floods, holiday celebrations, policy and procedure changes, or International politics.

While there are no sure ways to speed up or accurately predict your referral, there are some ways to make the waiting a little smoother. Following are some things to do while you wait and to maybe make the time pass a little quicker.

Update your will or write one now if you haven't done so. Your child is legally yours when you complete the adoption in China. Don't wait until you get home and are busy with a new baby to take care of this. Be sure to plan for who will care for your child if you should die and that your life insurance is up dated and adequate to provide for your family as well.

Make sure you have your passport and that it won't expire within a year of your expected travel date.
Take a CPR class. If you haven't taken a class in CPR since high school, now is the time. Be sure the class includes CPR for infants and children. And now is also a good time to take a basic First Aid class, so you'll know how to treat all the cuts, sprains, fractures and bloody noses that will come your way. Knowing what to do in minor or major emergency can bring tremendous peace of mind.

Child-proof your house. Cabinet latches, electrical outlet covers, etc. take time to install. Get a book at your local library on making your home child safe and make the necessary changes now.
Take an infant care class. Your agency may be able to refer you to a class specifically for adoptive parents. Or call your local hospital and ask them what they offer. Ask if you can attend the infant care classes and skip the labor and delivery talks.

Visit an International travel clinic. While no immunizations are required for travel to China, many are recommended. Some immunizations are part of a series that need to be started months before you travel. Don't forget a flu shot, especially if you'll be traveling during the winter months. International airplane flights are great places to catch the flu, and this is one time you don't want to be sick.

Make your own packing list. Get packing lists from your agency, the FCC webpage, and other adoptive parents. Combine and review them and then make your own list. Ask other adoptive parents what they were glad they brought, what they wish they would have had, and what they wished they would have left behind.

Practice packing light. Most Chinese domestic flights are restricted to 2 bags, not weighing more than 44 lbs. But two bags may be too much if you also are struggling with a wriggling baby and a bulky carry-on.
Choose and visit a pediatrician. Most doctors do not charge for a "pre-natal" interview. After you get your referral you will want to visit your pediatrician again to discuss any concerns and travel plans.

Take a Chinese class. While becoming fluent in Chinese may take years, it is fun to be able to say "Ni Hao"- hello and "Xie-xie"- thank you. Many FCC chapters offer Chinese classes for children. Attend one of these and learn a lullaby to comfort your new baby.

Practice using your new camera or video recorder before you travel. For digital cameras and video recorders determine the exact battery life so you can plan for how many extra batteries you will need for recharging.
Get in shape. Walking is the main mode of transportation in China and many office buildings in China do not have elevators. Your trip will be so much more enjoyable if you can climb 5 flights of stairs with a baby, diaper bag and drinking water without getting winded. It will also help you be prepared for chasing a two year-old around.

Watch "The Joy Luck Club" again or try renting some Chinese subtitled movies.

Visit different Chinese restaurants and try new foods each time. Learn how to use chopsticks. Practice with a bowl of popcorn.

Start looking for childcare now. Many places have waiting lists, especially for infants.

Prepare and address adoption announcements. Consider sending them from China, a more expensive, yet fun idea.

Visit your local library for travel guides, adoption books, childcare books, and fiction. "The Lonely Planet Travel Guide" has a wealth of information on health concerns, shopping, cultural etiquette, etc. Reading "Are Those Kids Yours?" by Cheri Register is a must for preparing for International adoption. Pearl Buck's "The Good Earth" is a timeless classic.

Join a Waiting Families group. No one can better understand what you are going through than someone else that is experiencing it also. Contact your local chapter of Families With Children From China to find out when waiting families meet. Or contact your agency and find out the names of others in your area that are in the same process.

Network with caution. The Internet can be a wonderful source of information, but it can also be filled with unsubstantiated rumors and falsehoods. Be sure to ascertain whether information is true with another source. When in doubt, your agency will have the best information.

Don't drive yourself crazy with trying to time the referral exactly. Lists that compare DTC dates and the number of days to referral are great for generalizations, but International adoptions are filled with variables. The only certain thing is that it is unpredictable.

Renew your spirituality. No matter what your beliefs, adoption is a highly spiritual event. Now may be the time to reconnect with your church or synagogue. Or explore different Asian religions for a different perspective.

Reconnect with your spouse. The stress of the paperchase or past infertility treatments can take a toll on relationships. Plan a romantic getaway and relax. Or go out to "grown-up" restaurants, theaters, concerts and movies. Soon enough, all the movies you see will be animated and the restaurants won't have silverware.

Do everything else. Now is the time to clean out the attic or have the garage sale. Soon you will find it difficult to get anything done. That is because every time you walk by the family room you will be sucked in by the most beautiful thing on earth and you will be mesmerized into hours of silly play, rolling on the floor, or just watching in amazement. Then the wait will be over and long forgotten.